Published in the Sunday Times
Take two chapters and don’t call me in the morning. The Sunday Times Books team prescribes holiday reading for the beautiful and the barely bearable.
The Convict
Oscar Pistorius has loads of free time now. He can spend it reading Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
The Steve
Steve Hofmeyr probably already has a sticky copy of Simon Kilpatrick’s The Racist’s Guide to the People of South Africa lying next to the hair gel on his bedside table. Someone should also give him Disgrace by JM Coetzee, although he might prefer an illustrated copy of Pinocchio.
The Squeaky Schleb
Kim Kardashian could do with reading Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti, and she should keep a copy of Don’t Film Yourself Having Sex, by Emma Sadleir and Tamsyn de Beer, to act as a compass for baby North when she’s grown up.
The Prince
Following his “I am afraid of public speaking” confession, a good book for Prince Harry would be Talk like TED by Carmine Gallo. It has nothing to do with a foul-mouthed Hollywood bear, by the way.
The Feminist (Not)
Robin Thicke dedicated an album to his ex-wife Paula Patton while twerking with Miley Cyrus. This man is in need of a hobby. Robin, read One Midlife Crisis and a Speedo by Darrel Bristow-Bovey.
The Survivor
If Tina Joemat-Pettersson feels overloaded by her new energy portfolio, she can revisit happier days by studying the recipes in Sunday Times Food Weekly cookbook of the year, Star Fish: Top 10 Sustainable Fish, by Daisy Jones. She probably won’t care for Where Were You When the Lights Went Out? By Denny Sargent and Jim Webster.
The Compulsive Tweeter
Helen Zille could learn something from Think Before You Speak, by R J Lewicki. Her staff might benefit from Lynn Taylor’s Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behaviour and Thrive in Your Job.
The Soapie Kingpin
With everyone hating on Mfundi Vundla’s Generations retread, maybe he should borrow Screenwriting for Dummies from his local library? Just saying.
The Fighter in Chief
Julius Malema will be studying Income Tax in South Africa, 3rd Edition by RC Williams this holiday season, focusing on chapter five, “Income: The general concept”. For light relief he can dip into Pierce Brown’s Red Rising Trilogy.
The Wanted Entrepeneur
Instead of writing six-page statements about how everyone is out to get him, Radovan Krejcir should read Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman, and Dirty Czech by Martin Blaha.
The Graduate (Not)
Someone please slip Grade 12 Study Guide Nothing But the Truth under Hlaudi Motsoeneng’s office door. It’s available in The Maskew Miller Longman Literature Study Guides series. Hlaudi and ex-SABC chairperson Ellen Tshabalala can fight over The Dog Ate My Homework: Poems by Sara Holbrook.
No word yet on whether any taxpayer money was spent to furnish Nkandla with a library, but there are a number of books we would recommend Jacob Zuma peruse while dangling his feet in his fire pool, starting with Alex Boraine’s What’s Gone Wrong? Or, if fiction is more his thing, perhaps A Song for Nero by Tom Holt. And of course Alexander Parker’s 50 People Who Stuffed Up South Africa
The Beauty Queen
Freshly crowned Miss World Rolene Strauss will be thrilled by Yes Please by Amy Poehler, Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham, or The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right by Atul Gawande.
Book details
- The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo
EAN: 9781607747307
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- The Racist’s Guide to South Africa by Simon Kilpatrick
EAN: 9781920137328
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- Disgrace by JM Coetzee
EAN: 9780099289524
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- Pinocchio by Steffi Fletcher
EAN: 9780736421522
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- Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters by Jessica Valenti
EAN: 9781580055611
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- Don’t Film Yourself Having Sex: and Other Legal Advice For the Age of Social Media by Emma Sadleir, Tamsyn de Beer
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EAN: 9780143538943
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- Talk Like TED by Carmine Gallo
EAN: 9781447261131
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- One Midlife Crisis and a Speedo by Darrel Bristow-Bovey
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EAN: 9781770227460
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- Star Fish: Top 10 Sustainable Fish by Daisy Jones
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EAN: 9780992216955
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- Think Before You Speak: A Complete Guide to Strategic Negotiation by Roy J Lewicki, Alexander Hian, Karen Wise Olander
EAN: 9780471013211
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- Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT): How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job by Lynn Taylor
EAN: 9780470457641
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- Screenwriting for Dummies by Laura Schellhardt
EAN: 9780470345405
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- Income tax in South Africa: Cases and Materials by Robert C Williams
EAN: 9780409105629
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- Red Rising by Pierce Brown
EAN: 9780345539786
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- Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
EAN: 9780553211757
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- Orange Is The New Black by Piper Kerman
EAN: 9780349139869
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- Dirty Czech: Everyday Slang from “What’s Up?” to “F*%# Off!” by Martin Blaha
EAN: 9781569758717
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- Literature Grade 12 Study Guide: Nothing But the Truth by Stein
EAN: 9780636086272
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- The Dog Ate My Homework by Sara Holbrook
EAN: 9781563976384
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- What’s Gone Wrong? by Alex Boraine
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EAN: 9781868425532
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- 50 People Who Stuffed Up South Africa by Alexander Parker, illustrated by Zapiro
EAN: 9781920137335
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- Yes Please by Amy Poehler
EAN: 9781447283300
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- Not That Kind Of Girl by Lena Dunham
EAN: 9780007515523
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- Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right by Atul Gawande
EAN: 9781846683145
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